June 26, 2009

Nothing exceptional to post.....of course you guys already knew that!

School starts back up on Monday and after the last quarter kicking my butt I am certainly thankful to only have 4 classes this next quarter. Last quarter I went for 7 classes, everyone tried to tell me it was to much and honestly it was. I had no breaks, tons of homework, and some pretty tough classes! Over all I am sooooo proud of myself (and it is all because of the inspiration and love of my precious Lily and Natie!) because after all the hard work I almost made the President's list again. I received 6 A's and 1 B. I was really hoping for another A so that I could make the President's list again this time (I did the quarter before with straight A's) but hey, making the Dean's List is nothing to sneeze about! I'm happy to have done so well when I really did have a brutal schedule. This next quarter will hopefully be much less stressful.

Steve and I got back from vacation early Monday morning (like 2 am) from Florida. I do have pictures and I'll post a few of them...they aren't as fun as Lily Bee pictures but they are the best I've got at the moment! I might even sneak in a few Lily pics that haven't been posted before.....like I said just for fun.

Anyway, Florida was HOT but we had so much fun! This is the first vacation that we've had that hasn't been stressful. Last year we went to Savannah but of course it was under pretty tough circumstances since Lily had just flown to Heaven and while I missed my little girl, as I always and will forever do, I admit I had a really fun, relaxing time. We ended up in Treasure Island in a really nice hotel, spent plenty of time at the beach (believe me....my back and other various places shows the signs of it...but overall I'm tan) but we did so many other fun things too. It was nice to just get away together and have fun. We even started making plans for our...ahem...future wedding! No...we have not set a date...yet....but we started looking at some venues that we like so we are going to start working on dates. It will be sometime next year (I hope!) and hopefully my favorite place on the "short list" will have some good available dates for us. HOPEFULLY! Then we will work on picking the date and start all of that. I'm ready...I think. Back to Florida.....really there isn't anything more to say about it other than it was wonderful! I'm not happy to be back to reality AT ALL.

Plenty of time was spent with me thinking about Lily on vacation and all the good times we both have had. I missed her the most when I was out on the beach listening to the waves. I could close my eyes and almost imagine we were in Panama City Beach and she was upstairs watching movies with Noni and Pappy....or laying there beside me where I could hear Rolie Polie Olie and Oswald playing while she enjoyed the time under the umbrella. I missed her very much....she is and will always be one of the most beautiful parts of my life. ALWAYS.

I never want or mean to leave out my sweet baby boy Nathan either. I know I ramble on about Lily and my love for her but my love for Nathan is no less. With Nathan's birthday approaching I feel sometimes he gets left behind because of all of the amazing memories I have made with Lily. With Nathan I was deprived of those millions of memories because his time on earth was so short but he is just as much a part of the sweetest and most beautiful times of my life as well. I miss all the things I didn't get to do with Nathan so much but the memories I have of Nathan as just as sweet and special. He would have most certainly been the snuggle boy that Lily was not. He loved me with all of his heart, trusted me with all of his heart, and was certainly my first true and absolute love. My time with Nathan was far to brief but he will always be one of the biggest parts of my life. I wished I could have spent more time with him. Nathan had such a sweet disposition, much sweeter (dare I say it?) than Lily. He was simply content to just be near me at all time, hardly ever crying and when he did cry it was for something serious. He was beautiful and would have grown up to be a beautiful and handsome boy I'm quite sure. I wonder what he would be like because so much of his personality had yet to be shown but the part I did get to know was showing how sweet, patient, and kind he would have been. A true momma's boy he would have been I'm sure. My sweet and precious Natie....oh how I love him! Oh how I miss him!

So blessed am I to have 2 loves of my life, 2 angels in Heaven, and 2 of the most beautiful children ever to have been placed on this earth.

I am going to leave you with something Mom and I were talking about tonight. We were sharing stories about Lily....I imagine that when Lily flew to Heaven ushered be beautiful Angels...she took her first steps realizing that she could finally walk, then run and she ran straight into the arms of Jesus first, he wrapped his arms around her and welcomed her home where she would feel no more pain, where she could finally walk, take deep breaths, play, climb trees, and do all the things her body would not allow her to do on earth. After Jesus released her the next person she ran to was her big brother Nathan whom she had heard about her whole life (and maybe somehow met...who knows!) and he lead her by the hand to everyone else who was there waiting on her. She met her great grandfathers, was reunited with her great grandmother, all of her friends like Kalair, Skylar, Taleah, and so many others.......and they all showed her how to do so many things that she couldn't do on this earth like eat ice-cream by huge mouthfuls, climb trees just as quick as she could, feel the grass beneath her feet, and never grow tired. I would imagine that if she picked her mansion it was a large tea-pot just like Rolie-Polie-Olie lived in...haha....but I would also imagine that Nathan was thrilled to have his sister there with him, the little sister he watched over when she was sick, the little sister who didn't have a chance to run, skip, and jump. Brother and sister sharing stories of their mommy, Noni, and Pappy and how much they are loved. What a beautiful picture that is......and they are waiting on me.

Okay...I've rambled :). Shocker isn't it?

To all who have read this journal in the past, and all who continue to read it, and to everyone who happens to pop in I want to thank you for keeping up with our journey. I thank you each for your kind words of encouragement, the thoughts and prayers, and all the times you've read this journal. It means so much to know that Lily's legacy continues on (and Nathans too!). As long as people read I will continue and I'm sure that much of this will always continue to be about Lily and Nathan. There are so many wonderful memories and stories to continue to share and I will continue to share them as long as anyone wants to read them. This all keeps Lily alive in my life and I do love to share her with everyone. I know I ramble....I know I can have some pretty darn depressing times....and there are plenty of happy times too. Thank you all from the bottom of my heart for continuing this journey in my daughters beautiful life and legacy. She is my hero...Nathan is my hero...both of my children are my biggest hero's. Such beautiful lives.....

I love you Nathan!
I love you Lily!

Mommy

Comments

[Brandi (Jensen's mom)]

I love that ... Lily's welcome home to Heaven must have been exactly that way ... had me in happy tears. :o) Love you, Amy!!!

[Lora Berhar]

What a neat way to picture Lily entering Heaven. I am sure it was very much like how you imagine it. I often wonder what it will be like when Ryan finally takes his first steps. Hugs to you Amy!!