So I went and stayed with your Noni and Pappy Friday night as I usually do every other weekend. It is always nice to go and your Noni and I can sit and talk about you to our hearts content because we both know just exactly what to say to each other and how to say it. We both know how much we miss you, how much we love you, and how much you are still a part of our lives even though time has moved on.
Before I went to Noni and Pappy's I drove down our old road, something I do occasionally but it always is hard. So I drove by and things still look the same and for a moment I could almost imagine I was pulling into the driveway coming home after running to the grocery store, or running an errand and was coming home to you.
I remember sometimes how "stir crazy' I could get and looked forward to when Noni and Pappy came over and I could get out for a few minutes while they sat with you. I would run and do my stuff and the best part of getting out of the house was actually getting back in the house to your smile. I know that sounds a little fake....but really and honestly the best part of leaving was getting to come back home to you.
When I pulled into the driveway and into the back of the house it looked a little different but I could still see images of us sitting out back when it was warm, swinging on the swing or just relaxing with you in the wagon with your DVD going and me watching you plus watching the squirrels jumping from tree to tree. Then we would pack our stuff up and head back in and find something else to do. Being with you will always be the best part of my life, the one part I wish I could go back to, there is nothing that compares to getting to be with you each and everday of my life so I am thankful that I was able to spend those years with you. My life has been different since you have been gone, not always in a bad way, but I have and will always be lonely without you. You literally fulfilled not only as a mother but as a human and I loved more than anything just being with you. You were never boring.....you were and will always be simply you, one of the two things (with your brother being the other part of the two) I love more than anything else in this life.
I love you Lily and Nathan. You can always and forever count on that.
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